I find it very difficult to write this post, primarily because it isn't easy for me to explain how much of a positive influence Ayrton Senna has been on my mindset and what inspiration he has been to me for many years.
I write this after having viewed a screening of Senna which troubled me no end as I relived those emotional times and I admit to feeling very surprised to the emotional link that is firmly nailed in my psychology.
I remember the time when we started to read about Senna in Lotus in the Motoring News, which my dad had on order at the local newsagents (only a few copies made their way down to Malta!); motorsport ruled the discussions in the family, dad was still very active in clubs and both my brother and myself had quite serious aspirations to be part of the world, though I was more preoccupied about academic achievements and my brother was busy bolting stuff together in my dad's Elan.
I saw Ayrton as an elder brother sort of figure, very similar in his mannerisms, expression, emotional involvement to us. I was also greatly impressed by his ability to do things not better, but miles better, than anybody else... I always thought his focus and intensity were the secret to his success and I followed each and every race determined to let the experience influence me.
I could probably write a lot about the subject but I am not sure people will subscribe to my point of view, just because they do not know me well enough in person, and understand how intense a person I am myself and how connected I felt and continued to feel in all this.
I left the cinema yesterday feeling very raw and emotionally shattered. Some people stared at my face and my bloodshot eyes smeared with mascara. I was disappointed at the disengagement of the audience, I had half expected some cheering and clapping and the odd person with the Senna T-shirt. There was none! Silly of me, this is England, this is Norfolk... should I not recall how difficult Ayrton found this county when he left Brazil to join Lotus? He was branded cold and difficult, just because he was totally in focus and would let nothing come in his way.
The film is brilliant, with an amount of documentary that has not been seen before and I thorougly recommend it to you if you want an insight into Senna and F1 at the time. I thought the original documentary for the racing by Globo TV with subtitles in English was a brilliant idea as it transmits the energy and power of the country who looked up to him as he brought a beam of sunlight to the desperation they were living in. Kudos go to Manish Panday and the team that made the film for the intensity and passion that came through the well made documentary.
I would like to show you some clips from Senna which have provided me with inspiration in my personal and professional life, which I have viewed endless times when I felt I was getting nowhere and I could see no clear way forward, and I had to rely on my own personal strenght to move ahead. This strength actually, probably had little to do with me but with the inspiration that I got from Senna....
I am very lucky to have a friend in Melanie Whiting, as she totally understand my passion and inspiration from Senna. Melanie Whiting used to lead the Respectfully Ayrton International Network which brought about Senna fans together every year in Australia. It is great to have friends that share a passion at the same level! Thank you Melanie!
Just for the point, I don't follow F1 anymore. I stopped in 94. I believe motorsport is about the interaction between man and machine, nothing more...
As for me, I respectfully quoting Ayrton... 'there is a lot to go, a lot to learn, a lot to do'
:)
Well done, Antonella, for those of us who know you well enough - will understand. For those who do not - well do not take it personally. Its about the passion in the soul not the superficial.
ReplyDeleteThanks Maureen, you know exactly how I feel :)
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